Free of Pain, Lost from Love
by opalshyne
Summary: The Jewel is completed and Kagome is free,but her dream disappears as she is forced back to her own time,tortured with memories of her only love.When a youkai in white comes to her she clings once more to her memories and to her only relic of the past.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one a.k.a. Prologue

Free of Pain, Lost from Love

By: opalshyne

"Inuyasha."

Kagome's voice echoed through the now peaceful forest.

"Inuyasha."

She called out again.

She found him, sitting stretched out on a rough branch of the Goshinboku, a grin stretching across his face as he looked down to Kagome, her hands clasped behind her back and the completed Shikon no Tama hanging from a delicate chain around her neck.

He leapt from the tree and immediately took the still young miko in his arms, "Kagome," he said as he breathed in the pure scent of her being.

"Inu…yasha?"

He held only tighter, burying his face in her thick black hair, "Kagome."

"Inuyasha," she gratefully wrapped her arms around him, "we're free."

He laughed quietly, his eyes hooded as he looked past her, into the dark woods, searching out any danger, "Yeah, we are."

Kagome thought back to the battle, only two days past.

The one where, not only did she rid the world of Naraku's offspring, but of Naraku himself. Freeing Miroku, her friends, everyone, an immense weight, magically lifted from their shoulder, the moment Kagome's arrow pierced the heart of the tiny boy, the half of Hakudoshi which carried the hearts, of the two most powerful, and most hated beings in the world.

Kagome reluctantly pulled away from the warm grasp of the hanyou boy she had fallen in love with, "Inuyasha," she fingered the sparkling jewel around her neck, "we still have to make a wish."

She looked shyly up to him, "What do you wish for Inuyasha?"

He took in a surprised breath of air, "Kagome, you want me to make the wish?"

Kagome nodded her head, "Yes, Inuyasha, I do…"

He reached out to cautiously touch the jewel, half expecting it to glow a malicious purple, tainted by his demonic blood, but instead, it glowed only brighter as Kagome took his hand in hers and together they held the jewel.

"Inuyasha, what do you wish for?"

"I wish," he said, "I wish, to be human, to take you as my bride, Kagome."

Her eyes widened and she looked at Inuyasha, a slight blush creeping up into his cheeks as the glow of the jewel illuminated them both.

The pink glow, like thousands of infinitesimal glittering diamonds filling the air, she waited as they rested upon him, swirling and glistening, hiding him from her until they dissipated. A purely human Inuyasha stood before her, his dark hair fell thick and shining, to just barely cover his gray eyes as he looked to her, "Kagome…" his blush was back but he kept on with his words, "Kagome, will you be my bride, will you live with me here in the Sengoku Jidai, and bare my children?"

Kagome blushed and smiled widely, "Oh Inuyasha!" she threw her arms around his neck, "Of course!"

He laughed aloud and picked her up, whirling her through the air. Kagome laughed and held onto him tighter, "Inuyasha, I'm so happy."


	2. Chapter 2

Free of Pain, Lost from Love

Chapter two

By: opalshyne

Kagome sat on her bed, a sullen gray light filtering through the closed blinds, her crumpled pink comforter lay squished at the foot of her bed, she raked her hands through her hair as the smile of the silver haired boy flashed before her mind's eyes again and her heart began to beat rapidly.

She shook her head violently trying to shake the image from her mind and forget the strange boy who had haunted her dreams for two years. She clenched her teeth together and muttered an angry, "Go away!", to the image which still hung before her closed eyes.

"Kagome, hurry up and get ready, you'll be late for school!"

Her mother's caring voice reached her ears and her eyes flew open, temporarily abandoning her mission to forget her dream, and she stood from the edge of her bed and walked slowly into the bathroom where bright lights blinded her and she cringed from the sight of her hair, tangled and five times its normal size.

She quickly brushed her teeth and began to forcefully pull a brush through her hair before flipping it up into an oversized clip and rushing to her room and slipping on her new navy blue and gold uniform.

She looked at the clock, the red blinking numbers screaming at her that Hojo would be here in five minutes.

Kagome threw her hands up in the air and dug around her closet to find her shoes which she had stuffed in the back of her close three months ago when she had bought them at the beginning of summer.

She heard a knock on the door and her mother greeting Hojo and inviting him inside.

She ran downstairs, grabbing an apple from the fruit basket and grabbing Hojo by the hand, she yelled a quick goodbye to her family and dashed out the door, Hojo following behind her. They slid into his car and he started up the engine and looked over at Kagome who had her chin resting on her hand as she looked out the window and held the unbitten apple in her hand, "Kagome, I really wish you would eat that apple."

Hojo's voice jolted her out of her own somber thoughts, she looked down to the speckled red fruit in her hand and shook her head, "No, I'm not hungry."

Hojo frowned, he had watched her do this to herself, everyday for the past year, "Kagome-"

"Hojo! I'm not hungry…" her voice faded away as she looked back out the window.

Hojo sighed heavily and turned into the school parking lot, the two sat in silence until Kagome got out of the car and turned around, smiling brightly, "I'll see you at lunch?"

Hojo looked away from her, "Yeah."

"Okay," she turned back around and headed off to her first class of the day, pushing memories and dreams away from her thoughts.

"Kagome! Over here!"

Kagome looked up to see Yuka waving at her from across the yard, a diet Coke in one hand and a sandwich, a bite already taken out of it, in the other.

Kagome smiled and waved back at her friend since junior high, she tapped Hojo on the shoulder and motioned to Yuka, "You wanna join us?" she asked.

Hojo nodded slowly and stood up, carefully balancing his own food in one hand and his Calculus book in the other. Kagome jogged over to her friend and sat down next to her friend, "Oh Geez! I spilled my drink!"

Yuka threw her hands up in the air and rolled her eyes before grabbing a napkin and dabbing the dark blue skirt, Kagome smiled and looked across the yard halfway expecting to see a red blur flash in and out of view, proving that Inuyasha was checking in on her.

"Kagome, whatcha lookin' at?"

Kagome shook her head slightly and looked back to her friends, "Nothing really."

Yuka shrugged and took another bite of her sandwich.

Kagome looked away one more time before sighing and standing up, "I feel like crap, I'm going home."

Yuka frowned,"Awww, Kagome, you're always sick!"

Kagome ignored her friend and looked up when Hojo began to speak, "Kagome," concern was scrawled across his face and it overcame his voice, "take care."

She smiled out of habit, "I'll be fine."

She turned away from them and walked towards the white sidewalk that almost blinded her with their brightness. She buried her hands in her pockets and walked away from school heading home, knowing she would be able to be alone.

Her mother had left that morning for Okinawa where she would be all week taking care of her sister who had just been in a wreck.

Kagome walked up the steps to her house coming to a halt at the top so she could stare at the giant Goshinboku, the wind blew against her and chills spread over her skin and she closed her eyes. She could almost hear his voice, the way it was the last time she saw him.

Her breath caught in her throat and shook off the memory walking away from the tree and towards her house, she opened the door and let the cool air wash over her before stepping inside and walking upstairs.

The door to her room faced her now and she opened it slowly, almost cautiously as she had felt a presence in her house upon entering. Peeking her head around the door frame she looked around to make sure her room was empty and deciding she was just being paranoid.

She flopped down on her bed and pulled her comforter up around her shoulders and clamping her eyes shut, hoping to fall asleep just so she could perhaps dream again of Inuyasha. The sound of the ceiling fan clicking overhead seemed to put her in a trance and a soft feeling washed over her.

And then she saw him, silver hair, gold eyes, tall and majestic, his white robes seemed to cool her body which was rapidly warming due to the heavy comforter which covered her.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," her muddled voice caused him to turn sharply to the bed and look at her.

His stare made her shiver, _what a strange dream._

Her mind slid in and out of consciousness as the youkai lord came closer to her, his eyes widening when he saw the red haori peeking out from under her pillow case, "You have his clothes…is he here?"

Her eyes widened enough for him to see the hazy expression in her eyes, "Who…Inuyasha? No, he faded away, he is gone," tears filled her eyes as she remembered her dream, "we'll never be married."

She turned over on her side and hid the few tears she allowed herself to shed from the youkai's sight.

"You will tell me where my mutt of a brother is, now."

Kagome shook her head slightly as she fell asleep, "He is in the past."


	3. Chapter 3

Free of Pain, Lost from Love

Chapter three

By: opalshyne

**Hiya everybody!**

**Here is the third chappy of my very fun to write fic, **_Free of Pain, Lost from Love_

**Review or I will contact the aliens and tell them to destroy the internet (creepy alien music)**

_**Review**_

_**Review**_

_**Review**_

**Disclaimer: (Me) Yes, I know everybody says I don't own Inuyasha, but I do, really, all the voices in my head tell me so.**

**(My therapist) You don't own Inuyasha, no matter what they say**

**(Me) I don't?**

**(My therapist) no**

**(Me) really?**

**(My therapist) You don't own Inuyasha, so drop it!**

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Kagome's body felt like it was on fire and she turned on her side and threw off her comforter to try to cool herself down.

Her skin tingled and the air felt thick and hard to breathe. She tossed onto her other side before her eyes opened wide and she sat up straight, her face turning white as the strong youki that filled her room began to suffocate her.

She stood up shakily, gasping for breath, and tried to walk to the door, to escape to the wretched feeling.

Her hands shook violently and stars blinked in front of her eyes as the room began to spin, still she attempted another step towards the door before a voice not her own interrupted her.

"Not a wise idea, miko, I suggest you stay in your place."

Kagome looked over to where the voice was coming from. Sesshoumaru sat in her lounge chair, smiling as she gasped for breath and fought for life.

"Miko, to think you'd be here, to think that old, old scent I'd found would lead me _here_…"

Kagome's eyes closed as she fought for clarity.

Sesshoumaru growled to himself before collecting his youki and releasing the miko from her attack.

Kagome breathed deeply and sat down heavily on her carpeted floor, wheezing and gasping, relieved that he had spared her.

"Sessh-Sesshoumaru, why…are you here." Here eyes were clenched shut, trying to ignore the dizziness and nausea that assaulted her.

"I'm here to find that bastard mutt of a brother, where is he."

Kagome's breathing slowed and her eyes slowly opened, her mind traveled back in time to the last time she saw his happy face.

_He spun her around until the world spun with them and he placed her gently on the ground, he rubbed his cheek gently against hers, breathing deeply._

_Kagome closed her eyes, filled with joy and imagined the wonderful, happy, life they would have._

_There would be a beautiful wedding, and she would give herself to him, then sometime later, there would be little children. Children with Inuyasha's beautiful golden eyes and her dark hair, his fiery stubbornness and yet her kind spirit to go along with it._

_She was happier than she had ever been. Eventually she pulled away and looked him in the eye, a beaming smile greeted shining from her face, "We should go tell the others."_

_Inuyasha nodded, "Good idea."_

_She took his hand and walked past the well, towards the village that would now be her home, she looked over her shoulder at the well, "Inuyasha wait."_

_He stopped and turned to look at her, "Kagome?"_

_"Inuyasha, what-do you think the well still works?"_

_She heard his footsteps come up behind her and felt his hand on her shoulder, "I don't know, the entire reason you were able to come through the well was because of the Shikon, now that it's gone, who knows."_

_Kagome walked to it's worn wooden rim and looked down, somehow entranced by it's wooden depths like she never had been before, "I want to test it, just to make sure," she looked quickly over her shoulder at him, if it works, I'll be right back, 'kay?"_

_She looked into it's dark depths again, "If it doesn't, " her voice had grown quiet and almost sad, "if it doesn't I might need help."_

_She hopped up onto the rim and took a deep breath before flashing a smile at a confused Inuyasha and jumping down into the disguised portal._

"It, never worked again, after I jumped in, I was never able to go back to him, never able to say good bye."

Tears blurred her vision but she blinked them away and looked up at Sesshoumaru who had a very annoyed look on his face, "So, you see, I don't know where he is, so I guess, it would be better if you went back where you came from."

She stood up and began walking to the door when his powerful youki flooded the room again and her breathing became labored once more, "Did I dismiss you, wench?"

Kagome looked up at him, debating on whether to be a smart ass, or to just submit to him, she chose the latter, just because she was less likely to be killed with that one.

"No," she managed to gasp out.

He nodded his head, satisfied with the answer, and only slightly withdrew his youki, making it so she was only weakened enough to keep her from acting out.

"I apologize Sesshoumaru."

He remained silent and looked out the window, "Where is this place, how did you come to be here?"

"We are five hundred years in the future Sesshoumaru, give or take a few years."

The room was silent as each person thought about the past and the future.

Kagome stood shakily and looked at the youkai sitting across from her, "Sesshoumaru, I," she wasn't sure how to put it, "I don't know where you intend to stay, or if you even _have_ a place to stay, but it can't be here."

He looked at her.

"I'm the only one who remembers, anything," pain crashed down on her, and suddenly, it was not his youki, but her own memories which were suffocating her, "Please, could you, could you leave me now?"

She looked at him with pleading eyes, the eyes of one who has been beaten and broken many times, but yet, manages to pull themselves together and appear strong, to appear whole.

He could see the holes in this girls soul, he could see the pain which whipped around inside her like a scalding fire.

Kagome looked away from him, ashamed that he should see her so weak like this, "Please, Sesshoumaru."

The way she said his name made him look straight at her, and she reminded him of another broken hearted young girl.

This girl was his daughter, a girl whom he had raised from the dead, and who sang foolish songs while she followed him everywhere.

The girl even followed him into death, she had died, crying and confessing her love for him, and it had destroyed him, made him die inside.

But that this girls pain, a pain so similar to the tiny girl's, would cause him such, pain, was amazing, and not welcome. So he turned and jumped out the window, leaving her alone in her suffering.

He could here her sobs as he ran away from the house, even as miles separated him the house, her sobs still echoed in his head, making guilt overcome him.

Somehow, he wanted to save her, wanted to make her forget the love, and lack thereof, the way he never could for his little girl.

Kagome was found by her mother, lying in the fetal position on the floor of her room.

"Oh dear, Kagome!"

She felt her mother's warm hands flutter over her, trying to find any physical damage that may have come to her daughter, "Mama, did Inuyasha come?"

Her mother stopped her careful ministrations and looked at her daughter, "Who?"

Her daughter's hoarse voice was quiet, "Inuyasha, Inuyasha, don't you know Inuyasha?"

Worry after worry suddenly filled her head, Kagome had never said anything about an, _Inuyasha_, person.

She shook her head silently, "No dear, no one has come today."

Kagome clenched her eyes shut as the pain ricocheted through her once more, "I miss him."

Kagome's mother once again looked at her daughter and wondered what had happened.

"I was going to marry him."


	4. Chapter 4

Free of Pain, Lost from Love

Chapter four

By: opalshyne

**Hey everybody, here's chapter four, hope you like it, if you don't…then,uh, I don't know, don't read it…**

**Anyways, leave me lots of nicely wrapped reviews and that will make me happy :D**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Inuyasha, I may have Inuyasha paraphernalia plastered all over my room and a Sesshoumaru shrine in my closet, but, no, I do not own Inuyasha!**

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Kagome returned to school the next day, feeling weary and as though she had been broken and then put back together wrong.

Her head kept jumping around and she thought she saw Sesshoumaru on more than one occasion. She knew the haughty demon would probably never be seen by her again after their meeting yesterday, so she thought she had surely lost her mind. She didn't answer when spoken to, and didn't hear and thing anyone said, finally Hojo pulled her off to the side at lunch.

Looking at her with concern and love in his eyes that made Kagome sick, knowing she would never look at him like that, she turned her back and began to walk away when he didn't say anything.

"Kagome, wait!"

She stopped in her tracks and looked over her shoulder, "Yes, Hojo?"

He began, "I," then faltered a bit, looking down at the ground and taking a wary step towards her, "We're worried about you Kagome, everyone's worried about you."

Kagome closed her eyes and fought back the guilt that rose up inside her like some awful beast, "Hojo, I'm…sorry."

"We all just want you to be happy, these last few weeks, you have been so distant, unlike yourself. No one knows what to do anymore, we want to know what's wrong."

She saw silver hair sparkle in the sun and whirled around, suddenly angry, "Well, you know what Hojo? I'd like to know what's wrong with me too! You don't think I'd like to just _forget_ everything that happened and go back to the way I was? Is that what you think! I hate this, I hate living like this, but I can't say anything unless _I_ want to be carted off to the fucking _insane_ asylum! So, next time, Hojo, why don't you keep your concerns to yourself!"

With that, Kagome turned around and stopped off in the opposite direction, ignoring Hojo's voice that called out to her

She marched past her friends and their shocked expressions, she marched all the way into the administrators office and looked at the secretary, "I'd like to pull myself out of school!"

After all .before the well sent her back, she had already completed school, so why should she stay here, it was a waste of her time.

"Uh, um," the secretary stumbled over her words and began shuffling through papers, "Well, dear, we need your parents to fill out a few forms," she handed Kagome a small folder filled with…forms," when they're completed, just bring them back to me, and you'll be all set."

Kagome took the folder and muttered a quiet thank you before storming out of the office.

She left the school grounds, she started heading for home before she realized her mother had come home early, evidently the wreck wasn't as severe as her sister's husband had made it seem.

Kagome was at a loss of where to go and just sat down on a nearby bench in a small, quiet park. She looked through the forms quickly before setting the manila folder down beside her, she bent over and cradled her head in her hands as her thoughts raced around wildly.

_I don't know what's going on, I don't know what's happening, I keep seeing him everywhere. Am I losing my mind?_

Her mind flashed back to yesterday afternoon, she felt almost ashamed at how weak she had been, but his appearance so disturbed her, and shocked her, she couldn't hold onto that strong façade that had been her saving grace for so long. She sat up and looked around her, she felt heavy warmth surround her and knew at once what it was, "Sesshoumaru! I know you're there! Come out and show yourself, I won't be toyed with any longer!"

A cruel laugh echoed, "If I was playing with you miko, it would be obvious, I am merely studying a subject which intrigues me."

He jumped down from a tree and landed in front of her, "My, my miko, that really was quite an outburst back there, I never knew you had such fire beneath that _weak_ exterior."

Kagome released a poor imitation of one of Inuyasha's growls and stared hard at Sesshoumaru, "I don't know why you're her, or why you've chosen to follow, but I want you to stop."

He laughed that cruel laugh again, " And you think I would take orders from a human bitch, it would do well if you watch your mouth from now on."

Kagome's aura flared, "I never liked it when Inuyasha called me that, what makes you think you can!"

With that, she slammed her hands on his chest and sent a bolt of holy powers surging through him.

He snarled viciously and backed her up against a tree, "Bitch, you will not attempt that again!"

She whimpered as he pressed her harder against the rough bark of the tree, "Understand?"

Kagome nodded her head submissively and he released her, immediately backing away a few feet, she may have just agreed not to injure him, nothing said she wouldn't try it again.

Kagome slumped against the tree and looked away, "Sesshoumaru, why are you looking for Inuyasha, and why did you come her to find him?"

She turned to face him with tears in her eyes, "Why did you think he would be here?"

He found no answer to her question and simply remained silent, she continued looking at him, hurt by his silence.

Kagome sighed deeply after a few minutes of silence and stood up, she walked toward him and looked at the clothes he was wearing.

Simple black slacks paired with a white, long sleeved button down shirt, " You have been in the future long?"

He nodded his head, "Yes, I have managed to survive the centuries."

Kagome nodded her head in understanding, "I, apologize, for my outburst."

He didn't answer.

"I, I'm taking myself out of school, and I'm leaving my home, so, there's no point in you continuing to follow me."

He looked down at her with burning eyes, "I will do as I please, miko."

Kagome nodded," Yes, you would, wouldn't you."

"Where will you go, certainly it is not safe for a woman to be on her own, especially with no shelter."

Kagome looked away and shrugged, "I can find somewhere."

He growled quietly, annoyed beyond reason that he would have to do this.

"I have a flat in the city, more than enough room for two people, I cannot let you wander the streets with my honor still valid."

Kagome looked at him, the sparkle of hope in her eyes, "Really? I could, stay with you?"

He nodded his head curtly, "If you wish."

Kagome smiled, "Thank you so much! I'll only stay there a little while just until I get a place of my own, Thank you so much!" she bowed deeply before straightening up again.

He turned on his heel, before stopping, " Tomorrow, I except you outside the shrine steps waiting for me, with you necessities, I do not wait for humans, so be there at seven p.m.exactly."

Kagome nodded, "Yes, Sesshoumaru."


	5. Chapter 5

Free of Pain, Lost from Love

Chapter five

By: opalshyne

**Chapter five, I know you want it, so come and get it.**

**Then leave polite reviews raving about it's magnificence ( just kidding)**

**But seriously, I need REVIEWS!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha**

**I do not own Inuyasha**

**I do not own Inuyasha**

**Yes, I do, ( then I get smacked on the head, 'cause I don't own Inuyasha, just wish I did)**

**p.s. I want to apologize about my accidental bad grammar and mis-spellings in earlier chapters, I will try to do better.**

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Kagome waited patiently at the bottom of the steps, two large suit cases by her side and a good sized box on her other side. She prayed her mother wouldn't come home early from shopping as she waited for Sesshoumaru. She looked down at her watch, he was twenty minutes late, "Jackass."

She sighed and sat down heavily on the edge of one of her suitcases, staring at her watch until she heard a quite car come to a stop in front of her.

She lifted her chin a bit and placed a finger on the edge of her jaw in mock puzzlement as a stoic youkai rolled down his window.

"Gee, you know what," she started in an innocent voice, " I was told to be here at seven sharp, because _someone _ didn't like to wait, and yet, how is it that _I'm_ the one left waiting for thirty minutes?"

He growled and mumbled for her to put her stuff in the car and get in, Kagome rolled her eyes and hefted her box and a suitcase into the trunk and put the other suitcase in the back before hopping up front and buckling her seatbelt, "Safety First!"

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes and stepped on the gas, taking off from the shrine and heading towards the center of the city.

"Do you want food?"

"No."

"Why not."

"I'm not hungry."

"Yes you are, I can here your stomach growling."

"I'm not hungry," she repeated.

He rolled his eyes and dropped the subject, deciding to speak to her about the situation.

"I know you will be living with me, and I was the one who offered, but this will not be forever, do you understand?"

Kagome crossed her arms, "Don't speak to me as though I am a child Sesshoumaru, unless you have forgotten, had the well not thrown me back in time, I would be 21, plenty old enough to take care of myself, unfortunately, I look like a damn sixteen year old, so I am forced to take your aid."

He growled out a warning before reigning himself in, "I expect you to get a job, and help out around the house, you won't be lazing around like some slob, you understand?"

Kagome rolled her eyes but nodded.

They remained in silence for several minutes before Kagome spoke up, "Where do you work?"

"None of your business."

"Fine, be that way, I don't care!"

She was surprised by the sudden laughter coming from the demon next to her, "What's so funny?"

"Oh, you're just so mature," he replied sarcastically.

"Bite me." Her bitter voice sobered him quite a bit and he slowed down at a red light before leaning over.

"I just might be able to do that," he whispered seductively in her ear. His lips brushed against her throat and his warm breath fanned against her skin and Kagome felt her body heat up, "Green light," she managed to croak out.

He sat up, a slight smirk on his face as he began to drive once again.

Kagome stared out the window, mumbling a line of curses that would have made Inuyasha proud, Sesshoumaru continued to drive and cast sideways glances her way, wondering how many other bad habits she had picked up from his idiot half-brother.

"Such a colorful vocabulary, I would have thought someone as mature as you," Kagome growled at his sarcastic tone, "would at least speak better."

She ignored him and continued to mumble, only speaking up every now and again so she could hear the words, she meant only for him, "And such a _jackass,_ never before met a person who _enjoyed_ the stick up their ass." "I swear, and for someone to look down at _me, _I would have thought he would at least have the goddamn courtesy to leave me the _fuck _alone when I made sure he knew I was angry….but _noooo_, mister I'm-just-so-fucking-hot, had to take my words literally…jackass!"

"Motherfucking jerk, that's what he is! Arrogant, spoiled, jackass of a bastard who thinks all of women kind would just fall over themselves to get the chance to fuck him!"

"God_dammit_ I hate him, why the hell would I think, 'hmm, I sure would like to live with a fucking jackass for the next few months, just so I can be constantly…I don't know!, _annoyed_, by his all too annoying, annoying-ness!...God I hate him…"

He laughed quietly and allowed her rant to continue, only stopping her when he pulled up in front of his house, "Kagome."

"What!" her voice full of venom.

He rolled his eyes but continued on, "We're here, get your stuff and I'll show you your room."

She huffed out a curse but got out of the car and walked around back, yanking her things out of the car, leaving scratches and dents that she felt not the least bit guilty about.

He picked up the box and walked inside listening to her curse as she tripped over her own suitcase before getting everything straightened out. He walked down a hallway and stopped halfway through, at the room across from his, still useless after he had lived there for ten years. Of course, there were the essentials, one of his girlfriends had convinced him to turn that room into a guest bedroom. It was the perfect room for a girl, his ex had designed it with herself in mind, and she had decided she would live with him without asking, suffice to say he never saw her again after she finished the room. He set the box down inside the room and waited for the fiery miko to find him. When she finally did, her hair askew and clothes off kilter, she glared at him, "You know, you at least could have helped me find the goddamn room, I got lost in this fucking…_flat_!"

He ignored her statement, "This is where you'll be staying."

Kagome peeked her head in and gasped, "It's so pretty!"

She pushed past him and ran inside, bouncing on the bed before jumping up and running around senselessly and exclaiming how nice the room was every few seconds.

Finished examining the room she ran up to him, throwing her arms around his waist, "Thank you so much Sesshoumaru, you're very kind to me."

She backed away then blushed, "I'm really sorry for the way I acted earlier, I was being very rude and unfair."

He only nodded before telling her where everything was.

"The kitchen's down the hall, take a left, then a right and it's…right there. The family room is down the hall and to the right, the study is right across from it. There is a bathroom in here and my room is right there." He pointed to the door across the hall.

Kagome nodded and smiled, "Thank you Sesshoumaru."

He nodded then walked away, leaving the girl to unpack her things.

Kagome sat on her new bed, not wanting to unpack the last thing in her box, the red fabric seemed to mock her from its place. She was worried, _where do I put it, how would he feel, if it was here, in _his_ house, I think he would be angry…I shouldn't have brought it here!_

She quickly reached down and picked it up, shoving it under her mattress and fighting the tears that threatened to spill forth. Luckily, she managed to fight them off, burying her pain for another day.

She lay in the bed, her face flushed and her breathing shallow, yet again, memories seemed to crush her, she flopped over and buried her head in the pillow, a sob broke forth and she cringed from the sound of her own tears. Her heart pounded in her chest and she would have sworn she could hear it breaking, "like glass," she would have said.

She could here his voice, and it only served to hurt her more.

Her sobs physically hurt her, and she tried to quiet herself, she was positive he could hear her, and she was ashamed of it.

He lay in his own bed, listening to her cry, knowing he should do something, but he didn't have the courage to be kind like that.


	6. Chapter 6

Free of Pain, Lost from Love

Chapter six

By: opalshyne

A/N: Wuzz Up! Chap six is ↑ yo!

Not quite sure why I decided to talk/write like that, but…yeah, so…you know…

Yeah, whatever, _REVIEW_! -

p.s. this is a bit of a filler chapter, so, really sorry.

Disclaimer: hey everyone, so you know how I always say **I don't own Inuyasha**…?

Well, that may be true, but does Rumiko Takahashi own a piece of hair from a horses mane…I don't think so!

So even though** I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA**, I do have a piece of horse hair…which is better…right?

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Kagome's alarm clock went off and she sat straight up, frightened by the sound of her alarm and the youki that surrounded her, for a moment, she thought she was back in the Sengoku Jidai, being woken by the scream of an attacking youkai. She looked around her at the room, surprised for a moment it wasn't the room she had grown up in. but then she remembered where she now lived, and that she had a job interview in an hour. Kagome shook her head to try and rid herself of the grogginess before jumping out of bed and running into the bathroom where she would go about preparing for the first job interview of the day Sesshoumaru had lined up for her. It seemed as though he didn't trust her to take care of those things on her own…_jackass who does he think he is, treating me like a kid, well I'll show him, I'm either going to get every job, or I'll make an idiot of myself and __**not**__ get every job. Heh, but, that might not be a good idea, I don't want to piss off an already not nice youkai who is, surprisingly, giving me a place to live. Which is weird, 'cause he is always so __**mean**__! Well, I guess I shouldn't question his motives, if I do, I might not like what I find out…_

Kagome shook her head once more and stepped into the steaming shower. Washing quickly she could feel the time passing and suddenly became worried she would be late, _which would make Sesshoumaru mad, which I __**don't**__ want to do!_ She jumped out of the shower and ran to the wardrobe that held her clothes, quickly pulling out a black pencil skirt, a white button up shirt and a blue, cashmere sleeveless sweater vest. She threw on her clothes then stepped in her closet to pull out her best black pumps and her purse before stopping in front of the vanity to do her hair up into a French twist. She threw on some lip gloss and a bit of blush before walking out of her room and into the kitchen where Sesshoumaru sat at the table drinking his coffee and stoically looking out the window.

"Hey…"

He looked up at his new roommate, "Hello."

Kagome shifted nervously and then looked down at her shoes, "Well, um, I guess I'll be going, um, I'm not sure when I'll be back, so, you know, don't freak or anything, if I'm not back like, before dark or whatever."

Sesshoumaru only nodded and Kagome nodded back, she stood there in silence, not sure what to do before Sesshoumaru spoke up, "You will be late if you don't go now."

Kagome's head shot up, "Oh, right! Thanks for reminding me," she ran to the front door before stopping, "Goodbye Sesshoumaru!"

He remained silent as she walked out the door and ran across the street and hopped on the bus that pulled up only seconds later.

He thought about what he was going to do, he wondered how he would do this, how he would fix her and make her happy again if he didn't even have the guts to comfort a crying girl. He was disgusted with himself, that he had lain there and listened to her sob, knowing the reason, knowing everything. And yet he did nothing. Did he not invite her to live with him so she would not come to any harm, so that he could somehow fix her, therefore redeeming himself , perhaps by fixing her he would have fixed his daughter too? What a fool he had been, how desperate he was. What he had done was low, it was filthy, he was disgusted with himself. And that a human girl made him feel this way only served to further sicken him. He groaned and then stood up walking into his study and preparing to bury his pain in his work, like he had done for the past few centuries.

Kagome sat in the waiting room, waiting for her name to be called. This was her second interview of the day and so far, so good. Her first interview had been with a bank, evidently, Sesshoumaru thought she would be a good teller. He also thought she would be a good dog walker, a good nail manicurist, a _fabulous_ hair dresser, and then the best one, the _very_ best a tour guide, yes that's right, she would have to walk around Japan, a bunch of tourists following her, while she practically relived her _own_ past. Oh, that was just lovely, she would probably end up breaking down and sobbing on the shoulder of some kind American while his idiot wife took pictures! She prayed that she would get the job as the bank teller, she prayed so hard she thought her brain might explode from all the concentration.

"Kagome Higurashi," she heard her name called and quickly stood up, a woman dressed in slacks and a blue button up shirt smiled before leading her down a hall and to a badly decorated office where a middle aged woman smiled at her and offered her a seat. Kagome smiled at the woman before sitting down and setting her purse down beside her.

"Kagome…Higurashi?"

"Yes, ma'am."

The woman nodded her head and flipped through Kagome's resume, nodding here and there, sending an impressed look Kagome's way when she read Sesshoumaru's recommendation, evidently he was very well known and successful in the business world. Kagome picked imaginary lint from her skirt, momentarily letting her nerves get to her before reigning herself in and looking up just as the woman was about to ask her a question, "Have you had any experience with…animals?."

Kagome inwardly groaned, _actually, I hate dogs, even though, technically, I used to be in love with one, I'm only here 'cause the ass I lived with thought I would enjoy walking a bunch of overly active, loud, obnoxious __**things**__ around Tokyo all day!_

"Well, when I was younger, I had, a three dogs, a cat and a…fox."

_So I fibbed a little, what's the big deal, if you really think about, I really did own a fox, a cat, and at least one dog. I mean come on, Shippou, Kirara, and Inuyasha!_

"A fox, that's very interesting, how did that happen?"

"Oh, well, I found him trying to steal some food, his parents had been killed, so, we just took him in and raised him as our own. He was, bitten by a spider and died though…"

_And he was, a spider was the reason he died…Naraku was the one who killed him, Naraku had Kanna steal his soul, then his body was devoured by one of Naraku's many low level demon followers. Naraku would be sure that kitsune would remain dead, even if somehow, he was beaten._

Kagome swallowed her sorrow and smiled at the woman, "And your three dogs?"

"Well, my Father got, my brother, my mother, and myself one dog for Christmas before he died."

"Hmm," the woman said before looking back down at the resume, "I see here that you are very good at getting things done, you follow orders well, uh, you are great at 'controlling unruly mutts'?"

Kagome blushed deeply, _damn Sesshoumaru, and sibling rivalry straight to hell!_

"Um, I, I didn't write that, so, uh, but I mean, yes I'm good at those things, but,uh, no, I didn't write that…"

The woman nodded slowly and then looked at the watch on her wrist, "Well, our time is up, I'll call you , if you're…needed."

Kagome nodded before standing up, "It was very nice to meet you, and thank you for your time," she bowed and the walked out of the room sighing deeply, _today is going to be a very long, difficult day!_

Kagome sighed deeply and kicked off her shoes, groaning she sat down heavily in one of the oversized chairs in the 'family room'. She groaned as she stretched again, she flopped back and slouched into the seat. Her eyes closed momentarily, then snapped open when she felt the youki in the house, "I'll kill him, I swear I will, I will purify him then rip him limb from limb, after that, I'm going to bury him in a human grave, just to add insult to injury…_that_ is how much I hate him right now! "

She stood up and balled her fists by her side, "Sesshoumaru, you jackass! Where are you!"

She hear a cold laugh from the kitchen and marched in there, anger written plainly on her face.

"In a human grave huh? Well, you must really dislike me!"

"Dislike you! _Dislike you!_ No, I more than dislike you, I super-ultra-loathe/hate you!"

He smirked wolfishly and stood, he opened his mouth to speak but Kagome interrupted him, "You better _pray_ I get the job for the bank teller!...Oh! And another thing, " You are great at controlling unruly _mutts_?! Well, geez, that sure was a fun one to explain!"Kagome finished her rant, breathing heavily and staring daggers at the over confident youkai who stood before her. He remained silent, only smirking until Kagome groaned and rolled her eyes, "I give up… I hate you!"

She stomped off to her room and flopped down on her bed, closing her eyes and just praying he didn't come in there.

An hour later Sesshoumaru walked into the room where Kagome now lay sleeping, he didn't bother to tell her he was sorry, he didn't bother to tell her he didn't mean to make her upset. Because you see, he was weak, he was afraid what would happen if he really was kind and open, if he really showed his heart. So therefore, he would remain cold, rather cruel. He would remain the stoic beast he had been for the past ten centuries, that way, he could be sure no one would get hurt.

Kagome rolled over and moaned lazily, looking up at her ceiling she thanked the gods today was Saturday and therefore a day when she didn't have to do anything. she sat up and looked around slowly, surveying her surroundings for no particular reason, she slipped on her slippers and shuffled into the kitchen, flopping down into one of the wodden seats. Sesshoumaru looked at her with a raised eyebrow, "What?"

"Nothing," he looked back to the paper and sipped his cofee, she rolled her eyes and got up to fix herself toast. She was bothered by the silence, it tended to make her mind wander where it shouldn't, "Um, Sesshoumaru?"

"Hmm?"

"I was wondering, what will you be doing today?"

"It's none of your concern."

"Oh...well then, if you're not to busy, maybe we could, do something today?"

"Hn."

Kagome looked at him, "You know, I just figured, you probably don't get too many breaks, from, you know, life, and I figured a nice relaxing day would be good for the both of us."

"Hn."

"Maybe, a day at the park, or, the beach, maybe the museum then the park, or the museum then the beach. I could pack a nice picnic lunch, it would be nice!"

Her hopeful voice pained him and he caved, "Fine."

"Really? Great! Since it's so hot out, we'll go to the beach, it'll be great!"


	7. Chapter 7

Free of Pain, Lost from Love

Chapter seven

By: opalshyne

A/N: hey…hi…hello…hope you like the glorious chapter seven…if not, well, f you!

Sorry if I offended anyone, I am going through an ( incoherent mumbling) withdrawal…

Well, maybe if _**I got some uber pretty reviews **_ (hint, hint) I would feel better? Maybe? Maybe?

Disclaimer: Ah, geez, well, you know what, eh he he, I swear that I owned it, really, I did, it was the best, first I rode a unicorn to Japan, then I fell down the well, it was great, and then, I _owned_ it!..._Then_, I woke up, which proves that, I may dream about it, but**! I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA!**

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Kagome slipped on her favorite, red and white checkered bikini before pulling out a pair of khaki shorts and an old wife beater. She pulled her hair up in a messy ponytail and slipped on her flip flops before prancing out into the kitchen where a picnic basket (filled with food) and a beach bag packed to the brim with all sorts of beach necessities and accessories sat waiting on the kitchen counter. Kagome looked at the clock on the wall and tapped her foot on the tiled marble floor, "C'mon Sesshoumaru, I _do_ want to get there sometime today!"

And angry growl answered her, "It is eight thirty in the morning, you can wait a minute!"

Kagome huffed and rolled her eyes before taking up a very pissed stance, arms crossed, foot tapping, face scrunched and one of her infamous glares. That was how Sesshoumaru found her, the epitome of a pissed teenager. He picked up the picnic basket and the beach bag and walked out the door, "I will wait no longer Kagome, I suggest you come now."

Kagome let out a frustrated scream, "No fair!"

He only laughed and got in the car, throwing the basket and bag in the back seat. Kagome yanked open the passenger side door and slid into the car, cursing when her foot got tangled in the seatbelt. Sesshoumaru smirked at her very unruffled condition and Kagome sent him a death glare, one that he only shot straight back to her. The drive was mostly silent and Kagome stared at the window, making a list of all the things they could do and all the things he had probably never done at the beach. Kagome was at number two hundred and thirty of "What fun things has Sesshoumaru never done.", when her list making was very much interrupted by the smooth voice of a youkai.

"I imagine your mother will worry where you are."

Kagome huffed and crossed her arms, "So?"

"Well, I suggest you somehow contact her, and tell her where you are, if you don't, and you are found by the police, the consequences may be unsavory, for both of us."

Kagome huffed again, but remained silent, thinking over what he had just said, "I suppose you're right…I'll call her later today."

"Hn," he vaguely voiced his approval.

Kagome's mood steadily lightened until she was once again her cheery, (or at least half-way cheery), self. Sesshoumaru looked at the girl next to him, practically bouncing out of her seat, you wouldn't think that she cried herself to sleep, and that he could hardly ever get her to eat anything. Sometimes, she frightened him, made him want to cast her out like the monster he was. Sometimes he wondered what was happening, and why he felt so damn compelled to help her, make her feel, something other than…empty. And he realized, only a night ago, that when he would listen to her cry at night, that the sound cut at him like knives, her pain caused _him_ pain.

He parked the car and went around to open her door before grabbing the basket and the bag from the backseat, she walked next to him as he looked for an acceptable spot. Kagome grinned and grinned, so happy to be somewhere other than in the city, Sesshoumaru had decided that he didn't want to go to the museum and decided he would rather stay at the beach all day. Kagome happily submitted and pranced around the house, just overjoyed at going to the beach. Sesshoumaru however locked himself in his room for an hour, and when he came out Kagome saw a piece of paper stuck to his sacks.

"What is this?" she had asked.

"None of your concern."

Kagome rolled her eyes, "None of my concern?! _None of my concer-,_" Kagome began to read the torn piece of paper,"Payroll to be reduced by three percent within the next two months following an extreme cutback on international business…You were working!"

Sesshoumaru was silent, guilty as he was accused.

Kagome flopped down on her towel that had been neatly set up by Sesshoumaru, and began stripping down to her suit, more than ready to dive into the cool water. Sesshoumaru watched the girl that he seemed to have grown so…attached, (because that was all he would call it). She grinned as she stood and looked down at him, "Lets go Sesshoumaru, I won't go in that water by myself, and if I don't go in the water today, I'll be pissed for the rest of the week." Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes and stood to pull off the white tee shirt he had on and walked with her down to the water's edge., she jumped up and down, obviously excited. She looked around her, at the people who were jumping up out of the water, laughing and playing. And a sparkle of silver caught her eye, for a moment, she thought Sesshoumaru had gone in the water without her, she looked up next to the youkai who stood beside her. "I…" she looked back out to the shining hair, it was a boy, like Inuyasha had been, she could sense his demonic blood, and his human blood. She stared at him, like he was a god, she ran forward, leaping over waves that may have hindered her progress, "Inuyasha! Inuyasha!" her legs began to feel heavy from running through the water, and the silver haired boy was looking at her strangely, "Inuyasha! I-I'm here!" She ran right up to him, placed a hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes, only there were no amber depths to look into. This boys eyes were blue, and he wasn't Inuyasha, "Inu…yasha?"

The silver haired hanyou shook his head before bursting out laughing, "Idiot," he said.

"Wha-What? Are you talking about?"

"Hey Ayumi! Human girl thought I was some… Inuyasha!"

A mean looking hanyou walked up to the silver haired boy and wrapped her arms around the boy, smiling cruelly, "Don't know what game your playing at honey, but he's mine, and some little ploy ain't gonna make him, or anyone else, like you!"

At this, the couple broke out into cruel laughter, laughing at her like, they couldn't see the tears in her eyes, or maybe, like they could.

She didn't feel the angry flaring of his youki, nor did she feel it coming closer as he played the part of "knight in shining armor" and came to her rescue. Her vision blurred from tears, and her ears deafened by the sound of her heart pounding in its cage, she did not notice Sesshoumaru come to her aid and scare away the cruel twosome. She only notice that he picked her up, before she could fall, and that he carried her to a park, and up into a tree where he held her as she cried, finally able to be strong and be there for her.

Finally able to help her.

Kagome had quieted, and only hiccupped every now and then, she curled against them and let out another sob as momentary grief overcame her.

"You still love him."

"Maybe."

"You still _want_ to love him."

"Yes."

"You would love another?"

"…"


	8. Chapter 8

Free of Pain, Lost from Love

Chapter eight

By: opalshyne

A/N: chap eight, that's all I got to say, oh and, uh review.

Well actually, that isn't all I have to say! This is what else I have to say:

**I WANT REVIEWS, I **_**NEED**_** THEM, I **_**CRAVE **_**THEM!**

So please, **give a review!**

Disclaimer: (Me) Dupree Alagard!

(Dupree Alagard) Yes misses? (Very nasally voice by the way)

(Me)Who owns Inuyasha?

(Dupree Alagard) Not you.

(Me) Damn…

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Kagome was sitting on her bed, looking out the window, at the rain pouring outside. The day at the beach was a week and a half past and Sesshoumaru was at work. He would be home in ten minutes, in ten minutes she would wipe away her tears, and try to fool him into thinking she hadn't been crying for the past two hours. But he would always know, he could tell, always the way her eyes looked, so sad and empty after she cried.

But now, she doesn't even know why she cries, she's not quite sure why she lays in her bed and cries until she can't breathe. But she has an idea.

_"You still love him."_

_"Maybe."_

_"You still _want_ to love him."_

_"Yes."_

_"You would love another?"_

_"…"_

Her heart twisted around itself and she let out a confused and pained sob, _am I crying for Inuyasha, am I crying because of what happened…or am I crying because of Sesshoumaru and what has happened…what _has_ happened, I don't know what's going on, I don't like it though, it doesn't feel real. Maybe I'm afraid, I know that I feel disloyal, to Inuyasha. He would be so angry, if he knew the position I am in now. Oh, and he would hate me._

Another sob broke through the silence and tears ran down her cheeks like rivers.

_I don't want to, but I might, it's possible, the way he is, the way he is _now_, makes it a bit easier._

She heard the front door opened and she ran into her bathroom and quickly washed her face before waltzing out into the family room, "Hey, Sesshoumaru!"

He turned around to look at her, he knew she had been crying, but he wouldn't say anything, "Hn,"

Kagome clasped her hands behind her back and twisted in her spot, nervous to ask him this, "I-I was wondering, if I could possibly, I mean…never mind!"

He shot her an annoyed look and she ignored him only to have him watch as a deep blush slowly crept up to her face, "I need to go to the store, to get some…uh, things."

He nodded once and handed her money, "Don't be long," and he walked away, leaving Kagome to stand in the room wondering what's got him so peeved.

"Hey, Ice Lord! What's got your panties in a twist?!"

Sesshoumaru stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned slowly to look down at the little miko of whom he had become so fond (because that's all he would call it).

"You," he gave her a strange look, anger, pain, and longing, "Now, go get your stuff."

Kagome had never been so afraid of him, he had never seemed so unapproachable, she nodded her head and walked into her room, slipping on shoes and grabbing her purse. She walked the short two blocks to the supermarket and hurried to get her things. At the cash register, a short man with thick glasses and Velcro sneakers stood behind her, whispering disgusting words, snickering when she would peek back over her shoulder at him. Kagome paid for her things and hurried out the door, she didn't even bother to look behind her before she started out running home, she knew the man would probably have to pay for his things, but still, he scared her. Kagome wrenched open the door and slammed it shut behind her, "Sesshoumaru!"

She ran to his study and threw open the door, he looked up at the panting girl, "What?"

She looked at him, suddenly wondering why she had come to him, and now she was suddenly shy under his gaze, "I, Well…I just wanted you to know that some creepy guy may come to our door, if so, could you, like, hit him?"

He turned away from her, "Hn, you won't be going out alone anymore."

Kagome began to protest, but instead nodded her head and took her purchased items back to her room where she put them in their rightful places. Kagome sat on her bed and pulled off her shoes, she brushed her hair and rearranged her pillows, she tidied up her bedside table, then walked into the bathroom and grabbed the cleaner out from under her sink and washed the mirrors in her bathroom. Then she went into her room and wiped down her vanity mirror, after that she organized her vanity, then her desk, then her closet, then her wardrobe. Then she walked into the study and kicked Sesshoumaru.

He shot out of his seat and had her up against the wall, growling in her face in two seconds tops, "What possessed you to do that miko?"

"Let _go_ of me Sesshoumaru!"

He only let loose a vicious snarl and pressed her harder against the wall, "Explain yourself!"

"Well I would if you'd give me some goddamn space!"

He kept his eyes on her and his stare cruel, but backed away and let the angry girl have some room, "I want to know what your issue is, every since we went top the beach you've been acting even more mean than usual!"

He looked to the side, wary of where their conversation was going.

"If I did something wrong, then tell me, because, it hurts that you're upset with me."

He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the hurt sound in her voice, "I apologize."

Kagome slumped forward and looked up at him, "I don't want us to hurt one another, and I don't want us to feel we need to hide when we are upset."

Sesshoumaru looked at the girl before him, she seemed braver than any warrior he had met on the battle field, and he wanted to hold her, he wanted to feel her young heart beating whole, for once, while he held her. He would fix her and make her happy, he would make her smile bright again. He walked forward and placed a finger beneath her chin, lifting so he could look at her face, her delicate features. Her eyes were wide and young, filled with every emotion the girl held within her, tears threatened to overflow and he wiped them away before the could fall. He could tell she was going to break, it was obvious from the first time he had seen her. If he could, he would fix her before she broke.

He gently brushed the hair from her face, and she closed her eyes as he did so. He bent slightly at the waist brushing his cheek against hers and enjoying her slight intake of breath. He felt her hands on his chest as he placed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"Kagome, you should sleep now."

Kagome clenched her eyes shut, trying to bury the painful emotions that now leapt upon her, "Yes."

She looked up at him with her eyes full of tears, "Thank you."


	9. Chapter 9

Free of Pain, Lost from Love

Chapter nine

By: opalshyne

A/N: Gar, I rule, I have nine chappies up.

Reviews, I need them. XD

Disclaimer: so, I went to this, hospital type thing, right? Well, while I was there I was electrocuted…a lot! Well, now I'm like uber happy, and after all that electro shock therapy, and then that lobotomy, I now know one thing for sure…**I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA…!**

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Kagome sat on her bed, breathing deeply, and replaying the scene from just a few moments ago over and over again in her head, each time causing her breath to become more shallow, more labored. She was losing her mind, or at least, that's what it felt like, it felt like she had lost all sight of what was real and true, she felt somewhat like a traitor, but at the same time, a faint fire burned inside her, one that, for the moment, kept the crippling pain away.

She hear Sesshoumaru stop at the door to her room and she didn't turn around to look at him, as he silently stared at her.

"Sesshoumaru?" her voice sounded weak and shaky.

"Yes?"

"Why did you do that?""

"…"

"Sesshoumaru?"

He was silent, but she knew he was still there, she knew that he _was_ going to answer her.

"I do not know," with that, he turned and walked into his room, leaving her alone to wonder what she had gotten herself into.

Kagome woke up the next morning, tired, like she had run for miles and miles until she couldn't move, and then she had lain in the grass and not slept a wink. Kagome stared at her ceiling and cried a little, realizing, that her hurt didn't hurt so bad as she stood and walked into the kitchen. She saw Sesshoumaru at the table, reading the paper, like he always was. She was happy, maybe.

He looked up at her, and suddenly she was frozen in her place, "Sesshoumaru, I,"

He held up a hand to silence her and her mouth clicked shut, "I want to apologize, for last night."

"No!...You, you don't have to apologize, I, didn't mind."

His eyes widened only a fraction before he collected himself, "Hn."

Kagome sat down and folded her hands in her lap, looking down at them almost shyly, "Sesshoumaru?"

He looked up from his paper once more, "Yes?"

"I want to know," she breathed deeply and fought the memories ready to drown her," how it is you feel about me."

The room was silent for a long time, the kind of silence that is so empty, you can hear it. Pressing into your brain, almost hurting your ears. It was the kind of silence Kagome hated most, because in that silence she could hear their voices.

Laughing and crying and screaming, she even heard Inuyasha talking to her once, he asked her how she was, and she cried, he asked her where she was, and she cried, he told her he loved her, and she cried. Now she could hear Sesshoumaru's voice in the silence, "I think, I may, love…you."

Kagome looked up at him, she knew she was crying, but she didn't know why, she smiled at him, with the saddest eyes, "I love you, Sesshoumaru."

Because, she didn't know if she really loved him, he made her hurt go away, and he made her feel not so empty, but she did not know if she loved him. It could have been love, it might have been love, so she would call it love. She stood up and walked the two steps to him, she put her arms around him and cried into his shirt for a long time, he held her while she cried, deciding, that if he loved her, he would fix her, and he would always hold her while she cried, even if she did not really love him.

He held her close to him, and felt her young heart beating, not whole, but close, he believed. He felt her shaking and held her tighter, because, he did not want her to fall apart ever again. When she had stopped crying he kissed her and told her again that he loved her, and again, she smiled with those sad eyes and said she loved him.

He picked her up, carried her like a child, cradled against his chest. She smiled, feeling warm inside, feeling happy, maybe.

He carried her into his room and laid her gently on the bed, he laid beside her and kissed her gently and sweetly until she fell asleep, and then he continued to lay beside her, because he loved her and would always be there for her.

She curled against him, her hand on his chest and his hand on hers, that was how she awoke.

"Sesshoumaru."

He looked down at her, her mouth was smiling, but her eyes were still sad, "Kagome."

She laid her head on his chest and listened to his heart beat, slow and strong, she would love listening to his heart every day, it made her feel peaceful and strong.

"Sesshoumaru."

He looked down at her again, "Kagome."

She smiled, and this time, her eyes looked almost happy, "I love it when you say my name, it sounds so much prettier than it really is."

"Kagome."

"Sesshoumaru."

They were silent together, and this time, the silence wasn't painful, and she heard no voices from the past, only his, telling her he loved her.

"Do you love me Sesshoumaru?

"Yes."

"I love you."

He wrapped his arm tighter around her and lifted her closer to him so that he could give her soft kisses and sweet words. She kissed him back and held him oh so tight, afraid that if she let go, she would fly away and not feel so happy anymore. Soon he let her go though, getting up out of bed and holding his hand out to her, she took it, grateful to have someone again.

He led her to the kitchen where the afternoon light made everything copper colored. Sesshoumaru sat down and pulled her into his lap and asked her if she was hungry.

"Not right now." He knew she was lying, but he kept his mouth shut and only kissed her instead.

She loved it when he kissed her, she loved how he kissed her and she loved the way his kisses felt. When they kissed, she almost felt, whole. She wanted to kiss him forever. He pulled away and looked down at the girl he now loved so deeply.

"Kagome."

"Sesshoumaru."

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A/N: okay, feeling a little iffy about this chapter, review and tell me how it is.


	10. Chapter 10

Free of Pain, Lost from Love

Chapter ten

By: opalshyne

A/N: Hi people first chapter back from the long hiatus, please review and tell me what you think!!

(Just don't be too harsh??)

Disclaimer: Yeah, you know how it goes; I don't own Inuyasha, yadda yadda yadda.

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Kagome lay in bed looking up at the ceiling, sunbeams filtered through the window and she sighed deeply as a bird sung outside, she turned on her side and stared at the clock next to her bed.

**6:42**

She sighed again and closed her eyes in impatience she was ready for the day to be further gone now, she slid out of bed and walked out into the hall taking small light steps to look into his room, she poked her head through the door, "Hey," he was awake.

"Hey."

"What are you doing?"

"…"

"Ok." She walked quickly to his bed and curled up beneath the covers, he looked at her out of the corner of his eye and smiled slightly, "Why are you awake?"

"I couldn't sleep."

He murmured something and she rolled over to look at him, "Why are _you_ awake."

"I always wake up this early."

She grinned and quickly pecked him on the cheek, "I like you."

He raised one eyebrow and looked at her out of the corner of his eye, "I like you too."

Her smiled faded and she got chills through her body, the look on his face made her shiver and she scooted a fraction of an inch away from him, enough for him to notice, he sat up and gracefully stood, he walked around the bed and held a hand out to her, and offer to come with him. She childishly shook her head and burrowed deeper beneath the covers, he stared at her for a moment before leaving. She watched him with wide eyes as he left the room.

Kagome laid in his bed for another hour before creeping out into the kitchen and lightly touching his shoulder, he looked up and she leaned down to kiss him sweetly, his hand went to the back of her neck, holding her in place as he took advantage of the moment, his fingers twirled her hair around and around as the gentle kiss deepened and she wrapped her arms around him and straddled him at the kitchen table. She pulled away and kissed him on the cheek, "I like you _more_."

He smiled and held her tighter.

Kagome waltzed out of her room dressed in tan shorts and a navy blue tee; she found Sesshoumaru sitting on the couch in the living room and plopped down next to him, "Hey."

"Hn."

"Hello?"

"Hnn."

She rolled her eyes and moved to his lap, "Hi."

"Hello."

"Sesshoumaru, I have a question for you."

"Hn?"

"Well, first of all could you please stop saying that so much, it's annoying," she cleared her throat, "but my real question is if you would take me to the library?"

"Yes, of course I will, but might I ask why you would want to go?'

"Uuuh, I don't know, I just want to go, I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone last night and he said that I should read this book, I said I would check it out, soooooo, that's why I need to go to the library.

"Hn."

Kagome got out of the car and watched Sesshoumaru walking up the cement stairs to the modern looking building, she followed him through glass doors and into the chilly over sterilized building. She sucked in her breath and turned around, "I think we should leave."

He jerked his head around at her, "Why?"

"Uuuh, I don't think this place has what I'm looking for."

He grabbed her by the arm as she began to walk back out, "No, why are we leaving so suddenly?"

She pulled her arm away and pranced uncomfortably in her spot, "Come on, let's just go!"

She turned back around and placed her hand on the cold metal handle, "Kagome?"

She cringed and stood still in her spot, she felt a hand on her shoulder, "where have you been, you haven't been at school in so long, are you alright? Are you ill?"

She pulled away from the hand and laughed shakily, "No, of course not, I'm perfectly healthy, why would you think I was sick?"

"Well, I called your home and your mother sounded very distraught she said you probably would not be going back to school, so I just figured you must be very sick."

She turned around and looked him sadly in the eye, "Hojo….."

"Kagome, are you alright," he took a step close and Kagome turned her head, "Hojo, I…don't want to talk to you right now," she quickly turned around and pushed open the door she rushed to the car and quickly strapped herself in.

She sat in silence until a car door opened and he slid in quietly and started the engine a quite purr and cold air spewed out of the vents, she closed hers.

They drove home in silence as Kagome stared out the window and painfully shuffled through all her memories thinking of Hojo made her think of her past, she felt her chest locking up and sinking in as the emptiness he left behind grew she clenched her eyes shut prayed to all the gods she wouldn't cry, she didn't want to cry. She kept her eyes closed all the way home until she felt strong arms wrap around her and carry her to a dim room with a large bed and cool soft sheets, she held onto him, "Why did you take me?"

He looked at her in silence, "Because I thought you were beautiful."

He stood and left her in the room where she laid in silence and stillness until she felt an extra weight in the bed, she turned to him and placed gentle kisses on his shoulder and chest. He grabbed her by her waist and placed her atop him he squeezed her thighs sat up to nip at her ears and kiss her neck, she moaned and he growled, he pulled off her shirt and tore off her bra he palmed her breasts and played with her nipple ,she moaned. Her heart was beating so fast as he removed her panties and let her fall back, her thighs still around his waist, she turned her head to the side as she felt his quick tongue in secret places, she covered her eyes with her hands and whimpered as he flipped her over and rammed into her, roughly thrusting and pushing until she came again and again.



Kagome woke up and he was there, they were both naked and he was asleep, she crawled over to him and placed her ear to his chest, she listened to his heart beat,

**Badump…….badump………badump……badump**

She placed her hand over her own heart.

**Badump...badump...badump...badump.**

She removed her hand from her chest and curled up closer to him, she liked this, being with him, she was positive she did, she was positive this was right for her and good for her this, was what she had always wanted, a good love, so she had it and now what was there? She ignored pulsing regrets and wishes and only looked at him as he slept, she kissed his forehead and, "I love you."


End file.
